Posts Tagged ‘guidance’

Being Neighborly

Monday, March 15th, 2010

 

Welcome, all.

And a good day to you.

Recently, an elderly member of our flock; a woman of 79 years, whom subsidizes her meager Social Security income by selling, uhh, shall I say; ‘high quality herbs’…. For medicinal purposes, only, of course, was attacked in her home by a pack of some 12-or-so marauders, intent on causing her great pain and anguish.

To be fair: she had socked-up one of their group, earlier in the day, for making too many daily trips to her ‘garden’, thereby drawing unnecessary and unwanted attention to her home and the ‘goings-on’ there. Obviously, she feels that it just wouldn’t do, for her unreported income to be found out. Why; they’d cut her Social Security checks by half!! Then how would she be able to afford the rising costs of the medications she has to take every day just to have a life?

So; when she told the dude to stop coming around, he tried to get tough with her and made threats, to which she responded by blacking both of his eyes, with a one-two-punch that her dear departed husband (a U.S. Marine Corps Hand-to-Hand-Combat Instructor) had shown her before he passed-on. When he fell to his knees, she rolled him back out the door with a handy right kick she’d come-up with untaught. Quite effective.

So.

The day wore on, business as usual, until nighttime came and the place was too dark for easy visibility. That’s when the fella brought his friends back, having told them that he was “jumped” and beaten by the occupants of this house.

Not a neighbor-one of hers moved to help the poor old thing!!

Now; when God and the fellas needed some help after returning from the Valley of the Shadow of Debs, only to find a masked poser tryin’ to steal the Holy Seat, in the Better Book; The Revelations of Minister Skyddz: Of Philogynians:12: 1-2 we read;

1. …AND; THE DEBS FROM THE VALLEY; DID ARISE; ENCHANTING; AND; THEIR MANTRA; WAS LIKENED UNTO THAT OF THE ANGEL’S CHANT BEFORE; AND; THEY WERE SAYING; “GOD’S NUMBER ONE; GOD’S NUMBER ONE; GOD’S NUMBER ONE…” AND; THEY DID DANCE AS THEIR CHANT GREW IN FERVOR…

2. …AND; THE MUSIC OF THE ARCHANGELS; AND; THE MUSIC OF GOD; AND; THE MUSIC OF THOSE OTHER ANGELS; WAST ENTANGLED; AND; INTERTWINED; WITH THE CHANT OF THE DEBS; AND; DID CAPTURE THE LIVING OF THE WORLD; THOSE IN ATTENDANCE; AT THE RALLY OF THE INFIDEL…

And, with the help of the Good-Neighborly Debs, this fiasco was dismanteled.

I’m just sayin’; when you know a neighbor needs a hand, why not stick one out?! It benefits us all to be there for one another.

Oh; yeah! — About the elderly woman, and the attack upon her person and premises;

Well, the marauders, it seems, were not ready to find-out that their own boy had been “jumped” by a bluehair!! She took the opporunity that their surprise granted her, to disarm and neatly kick-butt upon the “crew”. Every one of them!! They ran off before the round was even finished.

‘ Doubt they’ll be back….

So; that’s my piece for the time being.

Please respond as you see fit. Any comment will be posted.

Good Luck and Roses….

–Minister Skyddz–

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Vices Versus Virtues

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Dudes of the Congregation;

        Welcome!!  And, a Good Day to you.

 

           This issue of Minister Skyddz’s ShortSermons is on the subject of Vices and Virtues.

               Now; as a Minister of God, I am required by-God, to be painfully liberal.  But; if it weren’t a requirement, and a duty of the position I hold, I would still go-there.

                In The Revelations of Minister Skyddz: The Genesis: 2:3-2:4, it is written:

 …AND THE SOUND OF THE WHEELS UPON THE ROAD REVEALED…

4. …WAST THE MUSIC OF THE SIXTH DAY; AND THERE WAST LIGHT; AND THE ANGELS SAW THE LIGHT; THAT IT WAST DEFINITELY GOOD, SO ON THE NIGHT BEFORE THE SEVENTH DAY, THEY PARTOOK; AND BECOMING DRUNK; SHARE-D INNER-VISION…

 Also: The Genesis: 3:3:

 3. …CAME TO PASS A NEW PROPOSITION; YEAH; VERILY; SO GOOD WAST THE MUSIC; AND; GOD-WHO-WAS-THE-ANGELS BLEST THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER AND THE WORLD; AND; WOAH! IT WAST VERY, VERY GOOD! IT WAST; MUY BUENO! UPON THEIR TONGUE; AND THEY LAUGH-D; AND SHARE-D THAT, TOO, WITH THE WORLD SAYING; “THIS…THIS IST GOOD!”…

     Suffice it to say:  What’s good for the goose is prob’ly good for the goose’s congregation.

Like most things; vice and virtue are pretty-much in the eye of the beholder.

S’ long as nobody’s suffering because of it, in which case, adjustments should be made or, the afflicted party invited to join the festivities.

 The Genesis: 3:4 reads:

 …NOW THE RIGHT FRONT FINGER ROSE ONCE MORE, AND BID THE ANGELS: “RIDE AGAIN, AND MAKE MUSIC AMONGST THE SOULS WHO LIVE ALONG THE ROAD; FOR; LAY THEY, LACKING PASSION, AND THEIR HEARTS HAST GROWN SOBER, SO THAT THEY NOTICE NOT THE ATROPHY WHICH HATH OVERWHELMED THEM”…

     Here we learn that compassion t’ward our fellows with regard to sharing the par-tay, is a Godly thing to do.  Also; I think it’s fair to say that it is implied here that lack of consumption can lead to stagnance, and quite possibly worse?!

   In closing, I’d like to point out that depending on your intent, the sharing of ones vices can be quite virtuous.

   Please:  Leave a comment, if you feel so-inclined.

Good Luck and Roses….

– Minister Skyddz –

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On Marriage….

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Friends; Brethren; Sisteren;

Visiting Dignitaries;

Welcome!!

And, may you find reasonably acceptable answer(s) and explanation(s) here in my ShortSermons.

–God willing, of course!!–

First; I’m sure there’s some dang law which requires that I state somewhere, the fact that some portion of this posting has been previously, similarly-posted on 1 or many other sites and/or venues, using any guessable number of platform(s) and/or media(um).

(I don’t wanna get arrested ….)

Okay; that said: I can get down to it.

Is your spousal partnership suffering??  Or; are you suffering within your spousal partnership??  Or; do you find yourself wondering what excuse your spousal partner might believe about where you’ve been??

Are you stressed-out and worried about the possibility of your spousal partner smelling the lust-musk of another partner on your private parts??

Well.

There are, I suppose, many ways to prevent the black-eyes, and/or the fat-lip you’ got comin’!!

But; for clarity’s sake: You’ got it comin’!!  What th’ Hell were you thinkin’?? You might’ve at least showered b’fore you came back home to these formerly lovin’ arms!!

In the New Scriptures offered here at this site:

www.ministerskyddz.com

There’s a way-more Bitchin solution to this and, mucho grande other/similar potentially lethal problems.

The Revelations of Minister Skyddz is filled with Well-Intended-Suggestions to help a dude make the decent, more-user-friendly decisions in our nearly-everyday-lives!!

God wouldn’ta told this Good-Minister what to write, if it wasn’t, well; pretty good!!

Right??

‘ Caught you off-guard with that one eh?!  If you’d read The Revelations of Minister Skyddz, you’da already suspected that me an’ God got a “Thing-goin’-on!!”

You could call me “Prophet” if you wanted to.  Or; GodScribe….  Whatever.

Anyway; here’s a clue:

The Genesis:12:5:


….FOR; ONCE A DUDE IST MARRIED; DUDES; THAT’S IT! DO THOU NOT GO THERE, IF THY PROMISE IST BULL; LEST THOU PERISH…FOR; SHALT THOU SURELY WILT, IF-TH CAUGHT CRACK-SNACKING BESIDES THY MEAL AT HOME!”….

Clearly, God is not Pro-Infidelity. Nor is God Pro-Divorce. Keep in mind that God required no signatures and, there was no lawyer to draw-up a contract. This union took place in the heart and/or spirit. It included God because it was a true desire within Madam and Beave.
I have never been “Legally Married”. But, I’ve been married within, and I know for a fact, that at least a (huge) part of the “perish” and the “wilt” which take place is the divorce itself, brought on by the fact that the “promise” was false. That is; the “promise” of at least one of us was “bull”.
Dudes; it’s just easier and less costly/painful to cop to the fact that you really have no clue whether or not you stand any chance of being monogamous. Just admit that you’re a fuckin’ heathen and that you like it, right from the gate! Don’t tell ‘em they are the only one for you ’til you know it’s a fact. That way no one gets hurt, except the True Sap…. Which is half-assed-cool anyway, ’cause you sort-of thin the herd. And; maybe the Sap will be inclined then to read The Revelations of Minister Skyddz, and become enlightened on the subject. So; you whip a little Gospel on ‘em too!! That’s a win-win situation. And, maybe one in which God pulls out the Righteous Scotch to give you that star-on-your-forehead-pat-on-the-back feeling.
By saying; “Baby, you aint th’ only one, but; You’re th’ Best One”, you open the door to trust and understanding. You can’t easily get what you want from anyone anyway, IF YOU LIE TO THEM ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT FROM THEM!!
Get-it??

 

 

Please:  Leave a comment, if you feel so-inclined.

Good Luck and Roses….

And, uh;  ‘Amen’.

– Minister Skyddz –

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