Posts Tagged ‘manners’

Being Neighborly

Monday, March 15th, 2010

 

Welcome, all.

And a good day to you.

Recently, an elderly member of our flock; a woman of 79 years, whom subsidizes her meager Social Security income by selling, uhh, shall I say; ‘high quality herbs’…. For medicinal purposes, only, of course, was attacked in her home by a pack of some 12-or-so marauders, intent on causing her great pain and anguish.

To be fair: she had socked-up one of their group, earlier in the day, for making too many daily trips to her ‘garden’, thereby drawing unnecessary and unwanted attention to her home and the ‘goings-on’ there. Obviously, she feels that it just wouldn’t do, for her unreported income to be found out. Why; they’d cut her Social Security checks by half!! Then how would she be able to afford the rising costs of the medications she has to take every day just to have a life?

So; when she told the dude to stop coming around, he tried to get tough with her and made threats, to which she responded by blacking both of his eyes, with a one-two-punch that her dear departed husband (a U.S. Marine Corps Hand-to-Hand-Combat Instructor) had shown her before he passed-on. When he fell to his knees, she rolled him back out the door with a handy right kick she’d come-up with untaught. Quite effective.

So.

The day wore on, business as usual, until nighttime came and the place was too dark for easy visibility. That’s when the fella brought his friends back, having told them that he was “jumped” and beaten by the occupants of this house.

Not a neighbor-one of hers moved to help the poor old thing!!

Now; when God and the fellas needed some help after returning from the Valley of the Shadow of Debs, only to find a masked poser tryin’ to steal the Holy Seat, in the Better Book; The Revelations of Minister Skyddz: Of Philogynians:12: 1-2 we read;

1. …AND; THE DEBS FROM THE VALLEY; DID ARISE; ENCHANTING; AND; THEIR MANTRA; WAS LIKENED UNTO THAT OF THE ANGEL’S CHANT BEFORE; AND; THEY WERE SAYING; “GOD’S NUMBER ONE; GOD’S NUMBER ONE; GOD’S NUMBER ONE…” AND; THEY DID DANCE AS THEIR CHANT GREW IN FERVOR…

2. …AND; THE MUSIC OF THE ARCHANGELS; AND; THE MUSIC OF GOD; AND; THE MUSIC OF THOSE OTHER ANGELS; WAST ENTANGLED; AND; INTERTWINED; WITH THE CHANT OF THE DEBS; AND; DID CAPTURE THE LIVING OF THE WORLD; THOSE IN ATTENDANCE; AT THE RALLY OF THE INFIDEL…

And, with the help of the Good-Neighborly Debs, this fiasco was dismanteled.

I’m just sayin’; when you know a neighbor needs a hand, why not stick one out?! It benefits us all to be there for one another.

Oh; yeah! — About the elderly woman, and the attack upon her person and premises;

Well, the marauders, it seems, were not ready to find-out that their own boy had been “jumped” by a bluehair!! She took the opporunity that their surprise granted her, to disarm and neatly kick-butt upon the “crew”. Every one of them!! They ran off before the round was even finished.

‘ Doubt they’ll be back….

So; that’s my piece for the time being.

Please respond as you see fit. Any comment will be posted.

Good Luck and Roses….

–Minister Skyddz–

On Vulgarity

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Dudes of the Congregation;

Welcome!!  And, A Good Day to you. 

This issue of ShortSermons is on the subject of:  Vulgarity

     From The Revelations of Minister Skyddz:

  THE GENESIS :8:4: 

“ ….AND; THE RIGHT FRONT FINGER MOVED WITHIN HER; STIRRING THE WILDNESS; AND GOD FELT THE WILDNESS AND, THE KINSHIP THEREIN; AND BLEST HER, SAYING:  “ARISE THOU; NOW;  DUDE!! BREATHE; MINE OWN NAME UPON THY LIPS; AND; KNOW THY BLESSING; …. THOU ART:  ‘LIBERATOR OF BEASTS….’””

     …. There are those among us (you), whom let their own un-wholesome thinking on this verse, conjure images of bestiality and un-natural behaviors….

  If that’s where your head instinctively goes, (how do you get laid, dude?!) then you already know in your depths, though you share it with no one, that it is YOU, not the Author, in need of Good Professional Care and Guidance.  Email me.  I’m Certified a ‘Spiritual Counselor’.

 *Mention this post, and get a 6% discount off of your first 4 hour session*

    The fact that it is possible to boundlessly DayDream in accordance with your own hidden-fantasy-realm-doctrine, even while you read these Better~Scriptures, is not only obvious, it borders-on: “So`What??”  If you’d keep your nasty, selfish, AntiAmerican, censorship views to your own filthy self, no one else would ever have thought of it and suffered thereby….

    So; how Righteous can you seriously call yourself  now?!

    ….I mean; with a straight face….

 

CHAPTER 9:1:

 “….AND; FEELING THIS KINSHIP; GOD-WHO-WAS-THE-ANGELS SAW; THAT IT WAST ALL GOOD; AND, WAST MOVED TO RIDE AGAIN; LEAVING MADAM AND BEAVE FREE UPON THE FIELDS ALONG THE ROAD-REVEALED; COUPLED DIVINELY; AS WAST PUT-IN THEM OF THE RIGHT FRONT FINGER….”

     Dude!!  Get your mind outa the Beastly Brothel of Buggery!!  It’s written all over yer face!  What would your mother think??  Or is she where you got your freak-show mentality?!

     Look:  Call me when you decide you want some help with your “Problem”; your disgusting secret is safe with me…. (unless of course, you don’t pay your bill….  In which case I’ll be forced to give your story and your address to the Monastery Militia – that could get Dang Ugly, dude!!)

 Good Luck and Roses….

                     Minister Skyddz