On Sexuality….

Thursday, November 26, 2009

By Administration

Dudes of the Congregation;

Welcome!! And, A Good Day to you.

This issue of ShortSermons is on the subject of: SEXUALITY First: Nowhere in the Holy Minutes (The Revelations of Minister Skyddz) is it written, nor is it implied that God is male. Indeed; God is genderless thus far in nature, being the Ultimate in positive and negative, and showing no favoritism….

This doesn’t mean though, that God has no personal preference sexually.

In The Revelations of Minister Skyddz: The Genesis: 3:4, we read:

….AND GOD-UPON-THE-ROAD-REVEALED WAST LOVE-D AND DID LOVE; SAYING; “O, YES;THIS TOO, IST VERY, VERY GOOD!” AND THE IDEA OF WOMEN IN THE WORLD IMPRESS-D GOD; AND GOD THEM; AND; MAKING ANOTHER MUSIC TOGETHER; WAST A NEW OMEN….

’Pretty plain here that God digs chicks.

On the other hand (yet; still the Right Front Finger), God appointed an interpreter unto the homosexual, that they too might experience the total fulfillment of The Ride. In Queens 1: 4, we read:

…NOW; NOB; DID SKIP AND; BOB-D ALONG, GAILY, FOR; THOUGH; HE LACKETH SPEED, HIS OWN MIND, WAST QUITE QUICK …AND; THE SPRING FEVER HADST TAKEN HIM WILLING; SO, THAT HIS THOUGHT WAST OF THE SISSY; LAHMENT …AND; HIS EYES ROLLETH AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT ONE …(ALMOST PRETTILY; FOR; BEARETH HE GREAT, THOUGH NOT GOOD, RESEMBLANCE UNTO THE QUEEN; ESTHER) …AND; THE BUTTERFLIES DID FILL HIM. AND; HIS SKIN BUMPETH UP, AT THE PROSPECT OF EMBRACE…

And, further:

5. …AND; SAY-TH HE; UNTO HIMSELF, ALONE: “YES! YES! THAT ONE SHALT I HAVETH …AND, HOW!” AND; HIS HEAD WAST SURELY FILL-D WITH VISIONS OF SUGARPLUM FAIRIES… CHICKENDANCING…

Nowhere is it written in The Revelations of Minister Skyddz, that this is unnatural, nor even unacceptable. In fact; God called out another ArchAngel, specifically for the answering of the prayers of those living with such feelings.

Queens 2: 4: …BUT; GOD WAST VERILY; DEEPLY BOTHER-D BY THIS …PHENOMENA …THOUGH; UNKNOWING, WAST THE MIGHTY, MIGHTY; OF THE TRUENESS OF THE PASSION OF THE PUSS HAVING NOT EVER BEEN AWARE OF PRAYERS OF THIS NATURE; THOUGH; HATH GOD BEEN AWARE; AND; NOT THOUGHT IT HALLUCINATION; MOST ASSUREDLY; GOD WOULDST NEEDS ANSWER…BUT; THIS OCCURRENCE NEVER HAPPEN-D WITHIN THE MIND, YET, OF GOD. …

Queens :3: 4:

…THUS; WAST BROUGHT, THEN ABOUT; THE COMINGOUT OF ‘GABRIEL’; THE HORN BLOWER. AND; A GAY SOUL; WAST THIS ONE; OF THE ARCHANGELS OF GOD…

5. …AND; WAST THIS ONE ALSO KNOWN; ‘QUEEN O’ THE DANGD’; (in the slang) FOR; HIS OWN TOGA; WAST EQUIP-D FOR; THE FULL OF FIGURE; AND; ZIP-D IT; UP THE BACK; AND;WAST LACY, AT THE FRINGE; AND; BORE HE; MUCH SUGAR IN HIS TANK …BUT; WAST HE AS WELL; TOO TOUGH TO PICK-ON…

So I say unto this congregation; We are all equal in the eyes of God. Undeniably. If you are unsure about yourself or your spouse; ask Gabriel….

Good Luck and Roses….

Minister Skyddz

Tags: Archangel, Butterflies, Congregation Welcome, Dudes, Fact God, Favoritism, Genesis 3, Homosexual, Interpreter, kc, Nob, Omen, Personal Preference, Queen Esther, Resemblance, Revelations, robin muirhead, rss, rss feeds, Sexuality, Sissy, Spring Fever, Sugarplum Fairies, Women In The World

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