Learning to Live

I have had many ups and downs in my life.  Sleeping rough, being attacked, divorce, deaths, sexual abuse and the like.  I have often thought about telling my story, although I am sure many would not believe half of it.

Recently however, with the death of my brother by his own hand, I have come to realise that it is up to me to make things happen.  Large and small events may play a part in our futures but, it is up to us to try and put events into play that will help.

We sit around and let things happen to us much of the time.  In fact, at one point in my life, I stated that all i would do was sit back and let life happen around me, with myself ebbing and flowing with its tide.

But, nothing happens when you do that.  Compromise is all very well and good but surely full on life is better.

I am very lucky that I have done a good many things I set out to do when I ran away from home many years ago.  I have also done many things I would never have dreamed of and would not want to repeat.  But, now I want to aim my future.  Take a hold of it and make it more what I thought it would be when a small child looking forward.

Although I never will be an astronaut, a princess or a vet, I can be the best of whatever I end up being as I grow older.

My son introduced me to Dean Wesley Smith.  He wrote a couple dozen Star Trek novels, the only two original Men in Black novels, Spider-Man and X-Men novels, plus novels set in gaming and television worlds. He does workshops and has a blog I just linked to where he offers tips and advice.  He also writes constantly.  He adds the number of words he writes and keeps a tally.

Shaun submitted that this may be a good idea for me to start.  Every day adding to my blog with … well, anything that I am thinking basically and also writing more stories.

I have written many stories in the past and even 3/4 of a book but, when I start proofreading them they end up scrapped so, instead, it may be a good idea to NOT proofread but, instead, write and be dammed….so to speak

If Julian, my brother, taught me anything, it was that you have to work and work at your craft.  He spent all his early years drawing, learning about anatomy etc.  He was the most talented person I know and he liked my ship paintings…MINE!  I mean, this guy could paint whatever he put his mind to and I so looked up to him and he liked MY paintings.  So, instead of wasting any more of my life, I am going to put my work on fast track, learn more about oils and colour, hone my craft, sketch, write and set up my magazine site as I want it and have been meaning to do for a couple of years.

Who knows, it may end up down the pan,like many other things have in my life but, perhaps, just perhaps, this is the beginning of a new saga.

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Words

Fiction:

February 0

Nonfiction:

February 0

Blog Posts: 

February 545

TOTAL NEW WORDS 2014

February 545

6 MONTHLY TOTAL

545

COMPLETE TOTAL

545

Comments

  1. // Reply

    Everything that we have gone through on life has a reason. Reasons that sometimes we question and even dont understand. And for that it makes us stronger and more wiser. Happiness, tragedies, birth or death, love or broken heart, triumps or failures are just some that we face in life That when we fall we have to stand and continue our lifes challenges. In that when we had surpassed those pitfalls we have succeeded our mission in life.

    1. Profile photo of Isabella FA Shores
      // Reply

      Not sure I have a mission, to be honest, but life sure does throw us some poop. I hope this all has a reason xx Thank you so much for commenting, I really appreciate it


  2. // Reply

    Well Abbie, I’m certainly not happy for you for what has happened around and maybe to you in your life be it recently or in the past…but I am so happy you are finding that you do have an inner strength and fortitude to well….”get it done”. You have lots of people who care about you, even when it’s not possible to actually meet someone in person! It is definitely possible for someone to have an impact in your life and I think many would agree that you have impacted them in some way for the good of course! lol Your writing is superb and I look forward to seeing more of it….love your ships too ;o) Just take it one breath at a time, one penstroke or keystroke, one brushstroke….okay, I’m getting carried away now, going to stop typing, lol! Go paint a room BRIGHT!


  3. // Reply

    Shaun presented you with a great idea to focus on, a place to start.

    I have had some similar recent self evaluations recently. About what growing up means, how what I want to do keeps changing. I got to a point where I realized I need to give myself permission to change. I do not have to stay a course that is leading me places I am unhappy with. It’s hard. That kind of honesty. I have always believe self deception is the worst kind. Yet, honesty with myself can be SO hard, I have to really work for it.

    I am proud of you for being brave enough to reevaluate and refocus yourself. Go for what you want…look for the paths that lead you where you want to be. Even when it’s a hard path, it’s one worth traveling when it accomplishes our goals.

    I have no education, but tons of experience. I am embarking on what it takes to become an early childhood educator. It’s going to be a long road, but I love teaching small children, I always have…and I know this is what I want right now.

    I also know…in the future, I may find myself deciding to change my direction, that will be okay too.

    You have a lot to offer, I am glad you are pushing toward what that means.

    1. Profile photo of Isabella FA Shores
      // Reply

      I saw on FB about your change in life and thought how perfectly suited you seem for this direction. Well done you!


  4. // Reply

    Wonderful Izzie. It’s amazing how good things can from from the tragic in our life. Wishing you much success. If you don’t take control of your life then someone else will.


  5. // Reply

    My heart/soul is a bleeding crystal of precious shards Isabella, and all we can do is continue and hold each other by the hand. To let each other know that we are not alone that we feel each others’ pain.

    This is to tell you that I hold your hand and that I understand, very often the stories untold and the ones most needed to be heard. oxoxox

    1. Profile photo of Isabella FA Shores
      // Reply

      Stanza, this is so true. Nobody should ever need to be alone xx