Spiders with wings

sorry but I hate spiders.  That was what I said when I last saw my friend who offered to show me his tarantula.  I won’t go to his house.  He’s a hypnotherapist specialising in phobias.  He has phobia inducing things in his house.  It worries me…….

so where did my fear come from?  I could blame my Nana who freaked out if one was in the same house as her, often going shopping to relax until Grandpa could remove it.

I could, but then again, I couldn’t really.  Studies show we are naturally afraid of spiders.  Psychology professor Jon May from Plymouth University said their angular shaped legs, dark colours and the fact they move unpredictably are all things we are hard-wired to fear.  You are off the hook, Nana.

I have been naturally overcoming my fear by creating reasons why I cannot run out of the room if one is nearby.   Calling myself yellow is one way.  It worked for Marty McFly and seems to work for me also.  Another is putting myself in the spiders shoes…..er…..feet….um…..anyway, pretending I’m the spider and this Humungous human is nearby.  I’m then scared of me.  Not sure how that works really but it seems to.

anyway, I’m getting better and, when a huge (no, I’m not exaggerating) spider tried to cross my bed on his way to the dark bit last night, I only threw up in my mouth once with fear…..believe me, that is real progress!  I did sleep all night under a sheet tent, sealed on all edges, on a really muggy hot evening, but that’s not the issue.  The issue is I’m getting better!

except for flying spiders.

It doesn’t matter how many times my BF tells me they are not spiders they are daddy long legs…..I know the truth!  Spiders!  With wings!  Get in your hair, ON PURPOSE!   Ugh ugh ugh ugh

so  have just surprised myself.  A lot.

i went to open the curtain in the home gym room. As I did I saw movement up the top and see a flying spider, leg caught in a web.  Spider caught by spider I think.  Justice.  Nature.  Leave!

but it’s struggling so badly and I feel so sorry for it and the spider may be back soon so I look around for a long thing to help it with.  I find my paint roller.  Well, it’s long so it may work, and I scoop that long legged beastie up onto it but it’s still fighting with strands of web and there is NO way on this planet I’m going near it.

i see a flag pole from my bike trailer and i reached out very gently to  catch hold of it, whilst managing to keep the roller, with daddy long legs still fighting, out of the window.  Gently pushing the end of the thin pole under the legs of the creature I prise the web off and push at the body slightly to move it so I can help more, and that’s when it happens.  The actual spider trying to kill the long legs falls off the body and shuttles towards me!  I didn’t even see the thing until then!  It’s trying to eat the poor thing whilst I’m trying to Deweb it!! Omg omg omg omg

so I’m stuck with a flying spider on a paint roller.  A real spider trying to get up the flag pole to kill me instead of its original prey and I’m freaking out.  In the meantime I have two dogs trying to help!

im leaning out of the window when a dog walker goes past.  I’m crying out, “get off! Get off!”  (Dogs) “You stay still and you’ll be fine!”  (That to the long legs) and shaking things, all the time going, “oh god! Oh god! Leave me alone you murdering thing!” (to the spider)

the spider drops off the pole outside.  The daddy long legs immediately calms down and is now sunning himself on the paint roller propped out of the window…..with strict instructions to fly THAT way, not back inside, and I’m shattered!!

my neighbours are now assured I AM the mad woman they believed I was……….

and it’s only half past eight in the morning.

What’s next……………….

image

Comments

Comments are closed, but trackbacks and pingbacks are open.