Existential Me

We are evolved to have quick automatic responses to danger. We are taught inappropriate emotional responses. We are all drama queens about some things.
Learning to be non reactionary, to control our emotional response to external and internal events is a big key to happiness.
There are many paths to inner peace and understanding that lead to the elimination of suffering, all are long and difficult. Some believe we are all trapped in a cycle of birth, death and rebirth until we finally get it right.
“I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Some people say I have talent as an artist. I say it’s not me but the universe. Creating connects me to the cosmic whole, where time becomes meaningless. Therefore I cannot not take credit for my art.
I can read and think. I believe I understand about letting go. But something always arises to shatter that illusion. I once believed meditation was about practicing control of oneself. That misunderstanding kept me from progressing . Part of me believes it is a struggle, requiring great effort. Intellectually I understand it’s just the opposite. LET IT GO.
The following image is part of today’s creations. The universe seem to like bold bright colors and patterns.

061416small“Zen is a liberation from time. For if we open our eyes and see clearly, it becomes obvious that there is no other time than this instant, and that the past and the future are abstractions without any concrete reality.”
Alan W. Watts

Some thoughts


I have been playing with this piece today. Not sure it works for me may stay in the dustbin . I like the colors and some of the shapes there’s a nice 3d thing going on but…….

Really tired don’t have ideas or energy to pursue any thing that pops up.

Rev. Zesho Susan O’Connell
Zen priest, President of the San Francisco Zen Center

Dizang asked Xiushan, “Where do you come from?”
Xiushan said, “From the South.”
Dizang said, “How is Buddhism in the South these days?”
Xiushan said, “There is extensive discussion””
Dizang said, “How can that compare to me here planting the fields and making rice to eat?”
Xiushan said, “What can you do about the world?”
Dizang said, “What do you call the world?”
— Book of Serenity

“Time and again during question and answer sessions after a Zen lecture, someone will ask: ‘What is the use of just sitting in silent meditation when there is so much suffering in the world?’ This question is usually meant as a challenge to what seems a kind of passiveness. It is true that the world is full of suffering beings; humans, animals, plants, even the planet itself is deeply suffering. Shouldn’t we be having extensive discussions, protesting, implementing solutions? This koan does for me what I think is the intention of all koans – it stops my mind in mid stride. It brings my awareness to the importance of asking questions before acting. Questions like: What is the nature of suffering and what is its ultimate cause? How can I help a world that I see as separate from myself? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for me to deeply understand how the world is not something ‘out there’ that needs saving? If I consider the way we are all constantly, every moment, making the world then each simple, ordinary action I am able to take right here is ‘doing something about the world.’ And when it is time for other kinds of action, less simple or potentially more widely impactful, it is my intention that these actions will be grounded in not knowing what the world is, or what helping is.”

Another day in America

I was always gonna write an autobiographical novel and call it 20th century Schizoid  Man .
I discovered I’m lazy so it never happened. What is lazy anyway? I worked feed the family when I had one and myself when I didn’t. I played volleyball and cross country skied.
Getting old didn’t take nearly long enough.
most famous split infinitive “to boldly go”
Space doesn’t exist as a or in a vacuum
When I have something to say I’ll get to it.
MY life
Born in a small city where typewriters and Dairy were king.
Was a free range child . This was the stone age remember, no cell phones personal computers 2 or three black and white tv stations.
But We were free to explore the town and the rivers and streams. The gorges and swimming holes. Walking or biking everywhere.
Rain days were the library or a hidey hole so we could avoid chores.

Today a nut job killed 50 people or more 80 miles from me.
There is no explaining something like that.
He just popped into a store and bought an assault rifle.
in the darkness of the day this gave me hope

FRODO: I can’t do this, Sam.
SAM: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened.
But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
FRODO: What are we holding on to, Sam?
SAM: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.


More Rambling

I am intentional

‎Saturday, ‎11 ‎June, ‎2016

I kind of committed to do this blog even if small bites everyday. The commitment was to me so I can’t let myself down or cheat myself so here we go again
Voting for the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
The revoloution will not be televised.
It’s side effect will.
I am formatting the text a thought at a time.
When I lived in Toronto I was a mirror.
If you have a question about me comment.
This is an experiment to find out if I can improve my writing with practice.
I have nothing to say so there should be a lot to read.
I’m henery the 8th I am
Where did that come from?
Living in Florida with all these old folks has me looking in the mirror and wondering who the old guy in it is.
I still with Bernie hoping Hillary will be unable to run.
The convention street scene should distract us from what’s going on inside .
I hate to admit their is a side that wants to see what would happen if Trump was elected. Do not want to live through it think.

 a planet divided can not long stand. Imagine all the people living life in peace.

One World. One People.


Ramblings 061016

All Characters in this blog are purely intentional.
‎Friday, ‎10 ‎June, ‎2016

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
I wonder why
blue in the sky
and in the mind
format of this is not relevant
it’s just babble
a stream of thought
pouring from within
onto crushed tree
or computer screen
on the bus
looking for
the way.
The question of god for me has always been, “What makes it’s existence a necessity?”. Which gods creation story do I listen to? The one the christian right believes in would have to beg my forgiveness and have a lot of explaining to do.
When you’re a creative person; all creative persons are artist.
the future is both terrifying and compelling . Don’t you want to know?
I did two pieces of art last session.
they will follow.
Since nothing is real It’s ok to say they suck.



Floral Expression 061016_002small

All is one.

Ka101Buddhist believe that life is suffering. That we generate that suffering within our self with judgements of ourselves and others. I am better looking, I am ugly, I want more or I want what they have. You get the gist; self inflating or self deprecation.
How do we end suffering? Through the practice of mindfulness , achieved through meditation, and correct thinking. Learn to truly understand that our perceptions are illusion. That our belief that we are separate from each other and the universe is illusion. That in reality everything is one.