In the beginning…….. WOW,,,,, there,,, I’ve said it, my first words in my first ever blog post. Whew,,, that is a relief,,,, a HUGE relief. I thought I would never get over that first hurdle and such a tall one at that. I have surprised em’ all,,,, especially myself. But,,,, in the end,,, I made it!

It is strangely empowering to place my thoughts here and entrust them to cyberspace where they may bounce around for eternity,,,,, long after I’ve gone,,,,long after all of us have gone. Do you suppose anyone will actually read it,,, my blog I mean. Or am I doomed to literally float about with never a google hit,,,, never a thought given in return to any of mine? Regardless,,, it does not matter to me really,,, what does matter is this thing called my ‘artistic’ talent that I keep hearing about. All those co-workers who proclaim loudly to me,,,, “With all that talent what are you doing working HERE?!”

Why do you suppose at times this ability comes so easily and flows almost without a thought as to any particular direction as to any outcome and at others,,,, it is a dark place where the fear is all encompassing. The fear of failure, the fear of shut-down,,,, the fear that someone is going to decide that,,, I have no talent,,,, no ‘real’ talent. That I am a fraud,,,, a charlatan and any good work that I have produced was merely by accident,,, a slip on the ice,,,, a slop of paint that took a pleasing form. Oh yeah,,,, this is a tough ‘hobby’ to take up for sure,,,, strangely though,,,, I think it is for all these reasons I love it so much. It challenges me intellectually and emotionally and to overcome my fears will one day create in me a ‘master’ (if only of my fears). I hope. :>)

Yep,,,,,, in the beginning,,,,, indeed.

© 2012, Diane Daigle. All rights reserved.